Tag Archives: parents

Disposing Our Elders

I recently watched a documentary about elders in home for the aged. Either they were there and frequently visited by their family or they are there totally without communication with their family anymore. The latter is the usual situation. The host interviewed a grandmother who has never heard from her family since they left her there. She was appealing to her son to get her back with tears in her eyes.

This is one of the many circumstances that I will not understand. And I’m not ashamed to say that this is also one of the stories that break my heart; elder people left by their families.

I can say that I could get along pretty well with elder people unintentionally. I have a nice relationship with almost all, if not all, of my senior citizen clients. We even have nice chats and conversations compare to my other clients that are in the same age bracket with mine.

It is maybe because of the reason that I grew up with my grandparents. I grew up with old people. I understand how they think, how they feel, and what their needs are.

Seeing a defenseless elder in the caring home depresses me. Our parents sacrificed a lot for us. They sacrificed even their lives from the moment we are conceived until we are strong (headed) enough to stand on our own feet. They worked hard and sweat for blood and borrowed money just to give us what we want and to give us education to be ready for life.

I could imagine how joyful it is for them to see us the moment we saw the light for the first time; the moment we took our first step; and the moment we spoke our first words.

It is also joyful for them seeing us on our first day in our school and don’t want to leave us out of their sight if possible.

One cough and sniff and it will make them run in the drug store or in the pediatrician.

They will also panic instantly when a blood is visible in our body.

I could imagine all of these feelings because we are expecting our first child at the moment. Maybe you can also imagine how excite we are today. We don’t have plans that would put our child in danger. We will do everything in our power to make sure that we will provide her (we are hoping for a girl) a comfortable life and education, to grow as a good citizen and godly, and to give her a secured future. And someday, our beloved daughter will also leave us in a caring home. I could also imagine how it will be painful for us.

If these people can leave their parents in a caring home, how will they treat their own families? These people are incapable of loving and caring. Just because our parents are old (and useless as it may seem to them), it doesn’t mean that we have to dispose them. I can’t imagine doing this to my mom (I grew up without a father), my grandparents, and even to my close elders.

When they get old, it is the time to return the favor. It is the time to express them how much we love them. Let them know that we will be on their side until their last breath.

Doing this would somehow pass the value to our children and do the same caring as we did to our parents. But of course, we should not do this because of the fear but because of genuine love.